The Witches of Starbucks

“Double Double Toil and Trouble Make this Coffee Boil and Bubble”

So what makes citizens of Coral Springs spend $10 for a cup of coffee each morning? Is this like buying cigarettes. Are they Hooked On Starbucks?

This investigative reporter went undercover to find out exactly what this is all about.  In the coming series of Starbucks Groupies. we’ll bring you to the inside scoop of the characters that present them selves at the Starbucks in Coral Springs.  Believe me, there are many…….

There they sit with their Carmel Macchiato ( $4.75 + tax)  sipping away and watching the people walk in.  “Look at that women” they say ” Her purse doesn’t match her shoes” The Nerve”.  Hair, nails, toes….They miss nothing! They watch and watch everyone coming in through the small 3’foot glass door.  These people never wait in line. The staff at starbucks knows not to screw with them. They make sure their coffee is always ready for them when they walking.

They sit at the front corner of the place, perfectly aligned with the Moon, Sun and Citibank, where most their ex-husbands money are kept. Always watching.

A man walks through the door. They give him the evil eye. ” Why doesn’t he comb his hair” they say. And , at that exact moment, the man lifts his arm and dabs his hair over to the side…slightly balding, very self conscience, he feels the bludgeoning dagger of their eyes but knows not what they can do.

A mother with a baby walks in. They melt. “Ooooh what a cute baby”, they laugh. Baby’s are kryptonite to witches. They make them mellow.

The Witches of Starbucks  take another sip of their coffee.  The strong aroma rising form the small hole at the top of the cover.  Their lipstick tattooing the cup. They look at the lipstick on the container. Those my lips they say to themselves? Can’t be.  They call over to the poor fellow making the coffee.  Change this. It is stained. The poor fellow smiles slightly and complies. He doesn’t want to be a victim of their wrath.

On and on this goes. Day after day. Evil Eye to those women without matching shoes. Disgust comes to their mind when someone walks in with shorts and sandals and socks.. White Trash they say. And sure enough , the lady becomes ‘White Trash’ You here it in her voice when she orders a cup ” Gimmee dat cup of coiwffeee”

It is scary  how powerful these Witches of Starbuck are…..Can any one stop them?


Author: HelpMeHoward