Phoque France Let’s all learn Spanish.

by Howard Melamed

 Coral Springs 03/04/03 First Draft.So there I was in February, in France.  At a convention for my business in Cannes, a beautiful city.  I learned quite a lot about how US foreign policy is not working.  I speak French fluently ( with an accent comparable with Kentucky English compared to the Queens English), so I was able to hold long conversations with the local people.  I was also able to listen to their news casts, talk radio and of course read their newspapers.  After hearing what they have to say, I can honestly say Phoque France, let’s all learn Spanish.

Phoque France means to understand them is to hate them.   They seem to be so capable of being as arrogant as possible but at the same time slam Americans as being arrogant. Our conversations were always the same. They heard that I live in Florida, so obviously  I was an American. Then they were so easy to blurt out that they do not want La Guerre (the war) in Iraq. “C’est le Guerre de Bush” ,  Bush’s war they would say.  They really believe that the only reason  the United States is about the launch the Mother of All Air Campaigns against Iraq,  is because Bush wants the oil fields in Iraq.

In my well versed and gutter French, I pointed out that we already have the oil fields. United States buys over 5 Billion dollars worth of Iraqi oil a year (Sun Sentinel reported).  I also related my amazement that  the French  were so worried about oil that they don’t own, then the suffering of the Iraqi citizens that have suffered and continues to suffer under the tyrant Saddam Hussein.  People’s freedom that they were not concerned about. Oil they don’t own…Bush…was their real issue…

Here’s the real point: The French, Germans and Russians ( the Three Stooges)  see an opportunity to sucker the United States into spending a lot of money and thereby lowering our economic strength in the world community.  They goaded Bush/Powell into believing that they were supportive of the United States and then at the last minute they pulled their support.  Listen, Bush and Powell can’t be complete idiots. They were obviously told by the Three Stooges that although we cannot support you openly, we still agree with your policy. After all, why would any country want a tyrant to remain in power? Simple. They hate Americans so much, that sacrificing a few Arabs in the process is of no concern to them.

The French are quick to point out, that it is the height of US arrogance to say that the French must vote for the US policy all the time. With any friendly relationship , friends can disagree. True, we cannot demand that the French come along with all of our decisions, but, at the same time, friends don’t goat their friend along and then kick him when he is down.  But the French have been good at this game for a long time. Need I remind you that the French were the ones that prevented our air force from flying over their air space  to  strike  Kadafi in Libya?

Going through their Musee de Guerre (war museum) also gave me an interesting perspective of their attitude. They have very little to say of the German occupation of their country and that Charles De Gaulle had fled France in order to lead La Resistance. What they do not comment on is that it took Charles 2 years to round up a few men willing enough to fight the Germans. In fact, when France surrendered to the Germans, they did it willingly, holding up their hands, and saving themselves so that they can eat  croissants and coffee. The German occupation forces quickly understood their cowardice and even allowed the French government to continue to govern under German rule, which they accepted readily. You see, the French were quite happy to be under German occupation, since after all, they had a lot in common with the Germans.  This part of history France forgets. They also forget the Normandy invasion as well where US led liberating forces hit the beaches and gave their lives for that country. How long are we to stick this in their faces, say the French? As long as it takes for France to remember what we did for them, say most of us. In fact, the road map produced by Michelin Tire Company that you buy at the gas stations in France, do not have Normandy listed anywhere. They forget conveniently don’t they? Sure Dieppe is listed and some of the surrounding cites, but no where does it say Normandy. a place where the liberation of France began. 

All through the middle east, there are plenty of places that say  ‘Jacque Chirac’ was here’.  In the early 80’s the French decided that Saddam should have a nuclear reactor. They supplied the money and material to build it. Israel destroyed it, and no one really complained. Saddam still owes France the money for that reactor. Throughout Saddam’s weapons program, both the French and the Germans were supplying him the money and tools to continue it. Weapons are continuously being given to the dictatorships of the middle east by these countries in an effort to win their friendship and ultimately their oil.  Even the Iranian nuclear reactor is French financed and supported.  

I suppose the worst part of being an American is that rarely do people say thank you.   How come they didn’t send us another Statue of Liberty, or even a box of roses to say thank you?  It is their arrogance that prevents them from facing the real fact about World War II. The Americans saved their asses, and it is driving them crazy. Crazy enough to forget about the 1.5 million people that Saddam has killed with conventional and chemical weapons.  I don’t think we are looking for a statue, but more of a Thank You.. How about an US day in France. How about them naming les frits (fries) to American Fries. How about if the entire American population decides not to buy products made in France, including French Wines, Cheeses, perfumes, etc ?and show . This two faced arrogant ungrateful assholes  that capitulated so easily to the Germans in World War 2, that is supplying the tools and materials to people that would seek our destruction,  that befriends our enemies , is truly no friend of ours..

Why not boycott French products? I mean do we not have anything better to do then spend money on these traitors to democracy? Here is a list things to do to protest against these people going out of their way to hurt us:

  1. Forget cheese made in France. Vermont Cheddar for me!
  2. Buy American, Spanish, Chilean and Australian wines.
  3. If you were planning to go to France on vacation, save your money. Go to London, Stockholm, or Madrid. Not only will you save money as France is terribly expensive, but you will also go to places that support us as well.  (France is over rated anyway).
  4. Write an email to the Ambassador of France. Title it “Attention Monsieur Le Scum Bag”. Click here and tell them what you think:  
  5. Seagram’s is currently owned by a French company. Stop drinking their liquor. By Irish.
  6. Perrier on all the other French waters can keep their soapy tasting stuff. Buy Pellegrino or drink the good ol’ stuff out of the tap (through an American charcoal filter of course).
  7. Don’t buy anything from Quebec either. The French Canadians sympathy is with France as well. They had a rally against the US  in the middle of winter in Montreal and got 100,000 people to come out. They can keep their Maple Syrup.
  8. Boycott all of the other French Companies list in the table below. Some of them will shock you.
  9. Give them back the Statue of Liberty. It’s sickening to think that it is French made.
  10. Treat French Tourists like French treat American tourists. Be as arrogant and snotty as they are.

And yet, I speak their language fluently. I am going to learn Spanish. Phoque the French. Vivre Les Etas Unis Libre!


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Your Comments:

how about phoque you, you uneducated asshole. you have no clue and your website is full of untruths and ridiculous propoganda. it’s truly a shame that the first amendment protects idiots like you. vas te faire enculler, espece de connard  –   from

Dear Sir:  Thank you for your inteligent response.  If you speak french please translate the following words and repeat them many times:  CHICKEN MY ROOSTER

. – editor


Author: HelpMeHoward