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Goodyear Blimp has Flat Tire Crash Lands in Coral Springs

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Coral Springs FL June 17 2005 :    The sky is falling…the sky is falling! Fssssst. That is the sound you heard as the air left the Goodyear balloon ( hay it’s really nothing more than a balloon) as the Goodyear blimp made its way down on top of the storage facility located on Sample Road in Coral Springs Florida.

The NSB is investigating this crash landing, but Coralsprings.com has already performed their own investigation and has several theories of its own.

Theory 1: Maybe it was shot down.  In case you do not know, the police firing range is located less than 500 yards north  from the crash site. As a matter of theory, it might just well be possible. We had uncovered evidence that the police are now counting shells to see if in theory any of their sharp shooters took down the balloon.  This could be in retaliation  for the high cost of tires that Goodyear was charging the city. Chief Foster was heard by several police officers saying ” Enough was Enough”.

Theory 2 The Mayor could have ordered it as a result of the city’s signage law as the color of the blimp was not in keeping with the city’s new regulation 128.5(a) which is titled  ” Appoved Colors allowed on Vehicles Floating Over the City.”

Theory 3: A Coral Springs Resident shot down the blimp. This may have come about as the NRA has a strong base here in Coral Springs.  Everyone knows that any self respecting citizen of this country should own a weapon and use it when they feel threatened. Perhaps the citizen still to be found thought that it was an Al-Qaeda raid going on as a result of hearing the sound of the blimp and hearing a clap of thunder at the same time.  “Damn! ” they must of said ” Hay Margaret, those friggen El Kaiders are attacken us agin!. We must stop them b’fore they land on city hall:” he said as he spat and drank down another keg of brew.

Theory 4: It was those dawn Parrots! Several citizens have written to us speculating that they believe that those damn budgies or parrots or Quakers ( qwackers??) must have flown into the blimp.

Theory 5: It was Bush:  Maybe this was another ploy to remove our attention from foreign aid policy whilst Bush goes on spending the countries money

Theory 6: It was Goodyear: They needed the publicity so they let the air out of the bag and dropped the thing down on us.

Theory 7:  The pilot was drinking and thought he was landing at Joe Robby Stadium. He saw the lights of the ball park and noticed a great landing strip on Sample.

Theory 8: He was out of gas and wanted to fill up quickly. As he descended slowly he looked at the price of gasoline at the pump at the Shell station at Coral Ridge and Sample and fainted.

Theory 9: I was driving. My wife figured this out. What stupid idiot would have a problem with a blimp filled with helium moving at 30 MPH!

Theory 10:  It ran out of air

Maybe you have several theories on the blimp crashing in Coral Springs….but for all of the property owners in our city, it is time to take out the insurance policy and see if we are covered for this one….Let’s see. Nuclear Attack, yep,…Tornadoes, Yep,  Hurricanes Yep…..Blimp crash landing on your home……Nope.

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